1. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
2. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
3. Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
4. Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
5. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
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